I haven't quite decided if I am going to have an "order" to my blog here, so for now I'm just going to write about what's weighing on my heart and lately that would be talk around our small town. Now I will qualify this to say I have not heard any of this said to my face. I've only been told what other's are hearing. The thing is if others are hearing it, then my daughter, his sister can hear it too. Do people not realize the hurt they cause?
It's hard enough to lose your 20 year old son/brother. It was hard watching him suffer through his injury. An injury he got playing hard for his High School Football Team mind you! A school he loved and respresented well in everything he did...and he did a lot to shine a good light on that school. He was a high acadmenic achiever. He was a strong athlete. He was a giving community servant. He volunteered his time to the school in various ways such as tutoring which he could have done on his own and been paid well for but he did voluntarily instead. He reached out to other students with kindness and compassion. Yet when it became evident that he wasn't going to heal quickly or easily from his injury people started drifting away. It got to where visitors were few and far between and Andy was unable to get out and do things. He was barely able to make it up and down the stairs in our house to and from his bedroom. So I have to fight back the anger when I hear about people who have not been around to have any idea what was going on are out there spreading degrading rude and downright disrespectful rumors. People who were supposedly his "friends?. And then here lately I heard the cherry that topped it all off, a young man petitioned to have Andy's football number retired and as I understand it, was told by the athletic director at the school that nobody will ever wear the number 45 again BUT he couldn't "officially" retire the number due to the controversy surrounding his death. Hello? There is no controversy surrounding his death other than talk from people who have absolutely no clue as to what he was going through and what happened. Further this man has spoke to my husband several times lately and has had plenty of opportunities to find out the truth for himself and has not asked. So, to me, he is helping in spreading the rumors.
Now here is my dilema, the reason my husband has been in touch with him and we the school is because we are planning a walk-a-thon/fundraiser to help raise money for a Memorial Scholarship that will benefit students from this school. Do I want to continue to put all the time and energy into helping an institution that A) was the school he was fighting for when he got injured then B) turns it's back on him after his injury and C) helps fuel reputation degrading rumors after his death?
Personally...I just want to move far away from here.
On a broader spectrum it also brings to question- Is this how our society is now? I don't get out much due to my own illness and having been taking care of Andy the past three years. But I was raised you don't speak ill of the dead period. If you don't have a kind word to say then you say nothing. It's scary to me the direction in which our society is headed.
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