There is no pain as great as that of the loss of a child, someone formed in your body by your body, nurtured and fed by your body, LOVED by you from the moment you know. There has been an unusual amount of young people and babies returning "Home" way to early lately. At first I thought it was just me noticing it because of going through it but I asked our funeral director and he confirmed that I was right and then again on the news earlier this week they were going on about how many teens have died in automobile accident related deaths so far this year (something like 17 here in IN. alone already.). For the news purposes they were relating them to possibly texting and driving but of the one's I know of that had nothing to do with it. Unexpected high water was one, pure recklessness in one or two, and in many we honestly just don't know what happened. I know from other grieving mothers that many lost their children at the hands of reckless adults not paying attention to the kids on their bikes or skateboards, many others lost their children the same way I lost my Andy, due to doctor's ignorance. The list is long but not limited to just one or two causes. In short our world has become a threatening place to grow up in no matter where you live.
I was writing a message to a cousin who I just learned lost her baby at 5 months gestation when something occurred to me. I started to say that I wish I could take away her pain. What I truly wish is that none of us had to go through it but if we have to see our babies go Home before us I'm not sure I'd want the pain to be gone. I realize that sounds crazy but much like the saying "The pain let's me know I'm alive", the pain is a constant dedication to the life I brought into this world and loved so much, so this is why I'm not sure I'd want the pain gone. It's more a matter of learning to live with it and recognize it for what it is-Love.
Sunday, March 17, 2013
The Pain
There is no pain as great as that of the loss of a child, someone formed in your body by your body, nurtured and fed by your body, LOVED by you from the moment you know. There has been an unusual amount of young people and babies returning "Home" way to early lately. At first I thought it was just me noticing it because of going through it but I asked our funeral director and he confirmed that I was right and then again on the news earlier this week they were going on about how many teens have died in automobile accident related deaths so far this year (something like 17 here in IN. alone already.). For the news purposes they were relating them to possibly texting and driving but of the one's I know of that had nothing to do with it. Unexpected high water was one, pure recklessness in one or two, and in many we honestly just don't know what happened. I know from other grieving mothers that many lost their children at the hands of reckless adults not paying attention to the kids on their bikes or skateboards, many others lost their children the same way I lost my Andy, due to doctor's ignorance. The list is long but not limited to just one or two causes. In short our world has become a threatening place to grow up in no matter where you live.
I was writing a message to a cousin who I just learned lost her baby at 5 months gestation when something occurred to me. I started to say that I wish I could take away her pain. What I truly wish is that none of us had to go through it but if we have to see our babies go Home before us I'm not sure I'd want the pain to be gone. I realize that sounds crazy but much like the saying "The pain let's me know I'm alive", the pain is a constant dedication to the life I brought into this world and loved so much, so this is why I'm not sure I'd want the pain gone. It's more a matter of learning to live with it and recognize it for what it is-Love.
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